Last month I had a nightmares that I did not purchase the proper undergarments for my wedding attire. So I began researching the underware that will make me look great in my clothes, even if they look awful under my clothes. I came up with this:

Properly named, Spanx, are supposedly a miracle undergarment. People everywhere sing the praises of Spanx. And they should be a wonder fat smoosher because at $68 a pair they will be the most expensive undergarment I will ever buy. So at my wedding you can all be assured that I will be wearing a very tight pair of underware that extends from my bra to mid-thigh. Wonderful!

I checked out ebay to see if I could get a lower price, and I found woman who seemed to sell nothing but Spanx for less than half the price. So I ordered from her. Note to self: don't order underware from the internet ever again. I mean, they arrived quickly, with the tag still attached but I was most put off by the fact that they were quite damp. Not just, "hey, these feel a bit damp" rather, I could have probably squeezed quite a bit of water out of them if I tried.

So I contacted the seller, who has no idea why they were wet. They were enclosed in a plastic bag in the shipping bag, so they didn't get wet in the mail. I wish she had told me that she washed them out before mailing them. They don't smell funny but I don't know what to do? Do I keep the mysterious damp spanx from ebay? Do I try and sell them again on ebay? Do I just go to the damn store and buy a pair for $68?