In the past 24 hours I have heard the song "Looking for some hot stuff bay-be this evening, looking for some hot stuff bay-be tonight..." I think the entire city of Cincinnati might secretly be gay.

I almost died last night. Okay, so perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic, but I had a bit of a scare. I had just come from Avondale, where I picked up some eggs and Chinese food. Don't let the name Avondale fool you, it is not a pleasant, happy place. It is a terrifyingly frightening place. It has the highest murder rate in all of Cincinnati. (Eat your heart out Over-the Rhine!) I went to a little store called Aldi to get the eggs. I don't know if anybody has ever been in an Aldi, but it is the most GHETTO store ever...and I say that in the kindest way possible. It was a grocery store with no shelves. There were boxes of off-brand food sitting on the ground. Perhaps this wasn't the best place to buy eggs.

In any case, on my way back home it started to POUR rain. I couldn't even see the lines on the street, and being the first time I drove to "Dragon City" I was not in a very comfortable state of mind. It was still raining when I parked my car near my apartment. I hadn't even turned the car off when I heard somebody knocking on the passengers window. I turned my head and it was a scary hobo with no front teeth. He was motioning for me to roll down the window. Uhhh, no. I don't roll down my window for scary hobos, when it is pouring rain at night and I am alone. So I sat there and shook my head, no. He finally walked away when I was about to drive around the block. I watched him cross the street and turn the corner. After waiting a few minutes, I turned the car off, got out and began to walk to my apartment. The same scary hobo was waiting for me around the corner and cut me off and grabbed my hand. He said "I didn't mean to scare you, ma'am. I just came here from Atlanta and I have been sleeping on the steps of the courthouse for the past 9 nights. I'm hungry and KFC has a special for $3.99. Can you give me that money, I'm very hungry. I don't drink and I don't use drugs." (He still has my hand, he wouldn't let go!) What was I supposed to do? It was pouring rain and I had Chinese food and eggs in my hand! If I had food besides my dinner on me, I would have given it to him, and I didn't want to give him money. Since he still had my hand, I decided that I wasn't going to open up my wallet to get money, but I had a dollar in my pocket. He was mad when I gave it to him; he said he needed more! I pulled my hand away and ran across to my apartment.