I'm officially a sado-masochist.

I don't know why I bother to call my mom when I am happy about something. I mean, she's just going to make me not happy. Case and point, my wedding invitations.

I'm all excited because I found these wedding invites that are gorgeous and unique and will probably meet my mother's approval of looking like actual wedding invitations (well, without having embossed silver hearts and scripty font that you can barely read). I e-mail the woman who owns the company and within 2 hours she has sent me a mock-up of the invites exactly how I wanted them. So, yay! Right?

WRONG!

I, of course, make the horrible mistake of calling my mom because I am just...that...excited. I mean, I've known the woman for 23+ years. What the hell was I thinking? If there is one person who is going to suck the fun out of anything (wedding invitations, college graduation, Disneyworld...) It's my mom.

Here is what is wrong with the invitations.
1) They are too expensive. (But then again, anything that is more than $17 is too expensive to her.)
2) They don't have an outer and inner envelopes. (Gasp! Horror of horrors! How are people going to know who is invited? I offered two solutions, but neither was deemed appropriate.)
2b) If they don't come with inner and outer envelopes then they can't possibly be REAL wedding invitations. Because REAL wedding invitations would have two sets of envelopes.
3) We will have to include maps. But mom...that's why I created the wedding website. But Noooo, many people don't use the internet. Well then those people are idiots. How do they find their way to places? According to my mom, they use maps that are provided to them. Really? Really? You mean to tell me that every time somebody needs to go somewhere new and they don't use the internet that somebody provides them with a map? I highly doubt that. But then again, knowing my family, I guess I could believe it.


So kids. It looks like you will all be getting e-vites to the wedding. And for those of you who don't use the internet, well, it'll be loose leaf paper for you. I just can't freaking TAKE IT ANYMORE. Gah!

Seriously, I am so angry. Why should wedding invitations, which made me super happy just hours ago be causing me so much ANGER.

I honestly cannot stand my mother. How I managed to live in that house with her for 17 years I will NEVER know. She just SUCKS the life out of you. I mean, how flipping hard would it be for her to just smile and shut her freaking trap once in a while and let me be excited about something? Oh, probably impossible. Because it's my mom. And she is evil.