Dear Rape Crisis and Abuse Center,

Please, please, please call me! Damn-it, I KNOW you called my references already, so what are you waiting for? Did they not give me glowing enough reviews? So help me if Josh Parker made some shitty comment about me, I will go back to Lansing just to give him the ass-kicking he always deserved. Wait, pretend I didn't say that.

In any case, I really need you to call me and tell me to start work immediately so I can tell P&G to kiss my ass. I am really sick of their attitude over at P&G. Help me help myself by giving me the best job in the universe.

Merry Christmas to me! (Hopefully)
Kim


Dear P&G,

I hate you.

Here's a piece of advice, when you fuck up, don't blame the temp.

As a temp I should never be given important responibilities because if you treat me like crap, I won't show up tomorrow. Then, the jokes on you. If you don't know how to send a package, or get a check for somebody or pay your own credit card bill or click the PRINT button, then you, my friend, are an idiot. What are you going to do when I leave you high and dry, suckas?

If you aren't going to give me health insurance, then I'm not going to care.

Fuck off,
Kim



Dear Self,

Don't cry at work anymore; it isn't very becoming. Besides, you are just a temp. Stop caring so much. Those people are fuck-tards.

Love,
Me