I woke up this morning, showered, fooled around on the internet, you know, a usual morning routine. Before I was going to leave for work I brushed my teeth. After brushing my teeth I stuck out my tongue in the mirror, as I usually do. (I don't know why)

Imagine the horror that filled my body when I noticed that my tongue was not it's usual shade of pink but instead a disgusting black. My entire tongue was a dark shade of black, it looked like I had just eaten oreos (...but I hadn't).

Images of "hairy tongue" from high school health classes flashed in my head. Oh my god! I don't even smoke!?!? How did I get hairy tongue?!? Why am I being punished?

Then I though, "well, maybe I am sick with some terrible disease! Maybe I am turning into a Giraffe." I seriously started to freak...out. I ran to the computer and googled "black tongue." The only thing that came up was "hairy tongue." I didn't know what to do, I was panicing, and considered calling in sick to work. (I can't come in to work today, I'm afraid I have a case of Giraffe tongue.)

I put some toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing my tongue; the black stuff came off, thankfully. It was so gross I almost threw up.

Thanks to my lovely message board I learned that PeptoBismol will cause your tongue to turn black. I'm kind of a PB addict due to my chronic heartburn, and this tongue thing had never happened before. Maybe it's time to think about getting on some permanent heartburn medication to spare the hairy morning tongue again. Gross!