How did I get tricked into moving to such a hateful part of the country?

There is a column in the Cincinnati Enquirer today (which I have managed to avoid even looking at until today) called "The slippery slopes of Brokeback Mountain." Sigh. I'll give you one chance to guess what it's about. The Cincinnati Enquirer is supposed to be the more "liberal" of the two Cincinnati newspapers.

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060226/COL05/602260350/1009/EDIT

Here are some highlights:

"Even cheesy recycled TV shows like the "Dukes of Hazzard" make the Best Picture nominees look like duds: "Brokeback," "Crash" (49), "Munich" (65), "Good Night and Good Luck" (91) and "Capote" (108).
But they all push politics like popcorn: gay marriage ("Brokeback"), racism ("Crash"), conservatives are McCarthyites ("Good Night"), sympathy for terrorists ("Munich") and anti-death penalty ("Capote").
I'm not saying "Wedding Crashers" is better than "Munich" or Chicken Little out-acted the sheep ropers in Brokeback - only that the Oscars are awarded more for politically correct propaganda than for excellence in art or entertainment."

"There were about 10 people in the audience when I saw Brokeback the other night. It was not as ugly or as beautiful as critics claim. The love scenes were first offensive, then just tiresome as desensitivity set in. But for me, it flopped. I just didn't care about the lost, damaged cowboys. As I watched Marlboro men making out, I couldn't stop a small voice in my head from asking, "What's wrong with this picture?"
In my politically incorrect opinion, this is what's wrong: It dishonestly portrays selfish betrayal of family and marriage as a brave struggle against repression, as if homosexual love is more noble than traditional marriage. It plants a sharp sexual thorn in the comfortable shoe of male friendships.
Behind the beauty is an agenda to drag America's cowboy heroes through prickly pear and recruit a vigilante posse to string up any tire-iron bigots who won't embrace gay marriage."

There - that about wraps it up.

You can send your hate mail to: pbronson@enquirer.com

Hurray hurray! What a great end to the Winter Olympics...my favorite Olympics. Apolo "dreamboat" Ohno won two more medals (Gold and Bronze) making his lifetime total 5 olympics medals - 2 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronze. Okay, I know WAY too much about Apolo Ohno, like, for instance, we are both 5 feet 8 inches tall. Todd is beginnging to get jealous and has been rooting for Ahn, his Korean arch nemesis. Arrrg.

Kim, why do you like Apolo Ohno, you ask? Is it his soul patch? His bandana? His gold chain? His massive thigh muscles? No, dear friends, it is none of the above. I love Apolo Anton Ohno because he is so charismatic and thoughtful in his press interviews. He seems like such a happy person. I want to be his friend. Bode Miller, on the other hand - I hate him. Barf-a-rama. I have never been happier to see somebody fail. What an egotistical douche-bag! I hope Nike makes him re-pay them for the endorsement deal. Hyped up as the favorite to win 5 medals and he walks away with JACK SQUAT. HAHAHAHAHA!

Even the NBC Olympics anchorman made a snarky comment about him saying something along the lines of "Miller liked to say that he didn't like the press and all the hype and yet he made himself available to be on the cover of Newsweek and Time as well as acting as a spokesman for Nike campaigned for you to go to a website to learn how much Bode didn't care about the olympics. Well, Miller learned a lesson that if you say you don't care and you don't put in the effort soon nobody will care about you. You get what you put in and if you don't in any effort you will not succeed." This is not a direct quote, but it was super snarky and I loved it.

Today has been one of the longest days of my life. I don't quite know why but I feel like I have been at work for 17 hours. I look at the clock and only 4 minutes have passed when it feels like an eternity.

It's Friday and I have three new books waiting for me at home. My bookclub decided to plan ahead and choose books for the next three months. I was so excited I went out and bought them all! I also bought the new Jenny Lewis album, "Rabbit Fur Coat." I wanted to preview it at work today but I accidently left it at home. I can't wait to listen to it! I can't wait to go home and read my new books and knit and actually have a real 2 day weekend! What does that feel like? I can't remember!

I miss winter.

Cincinnati has had exactly 2 snow accumulations this winter. The first one was in December and caused mass panic. Todd's commute home from work, which normally takes 30 minutes took 210 minutes. (That's 3 1/2 hours!) The second accumulation (of less than an inch) was this past Saturday. It melted within 5 hours.

Winter seems longer somehow. I like winter, I like autumn, but somehow all the days blend together when they are all the same brown landscape. Cincinnati is very green and hilly in the summer, but in the winter, once the leaves have finally fallen, it's like perpetual November. Bleh.

I never thought the hardest part about moving would be missing winter. Sometimes Todd and I entertain the idea of staying put in Cinci. I think the lack of snow would drive me batty. I am more convinced that Minneapolis is where I want to be.

I'm not sure if what I just experienced was rudeness or if I committed some kind of bridal faux pas that I was unaware off. I was able to take 4 hours off of work this morning to go wedding dress shopping (alone) before my sister comes in to town. I wanted to look around, try things on, feel it out before bringing my sister into the mix. I assume that is reasonable. I was treated as though I was going to make a purchase today even though I told them I was just trying things on to see what styles I liked on my body. I pulled some things off the rack that I liked and didn't even look at price tags. When I began to try on dresses the sales associate told me to "strip down to my skivvies" and proceeded to put the dress/bra on me. Hello! That made me uncomfortable, but I just went along with it.

The third dress I tried on was this super luxurious Amy Michaelson dress. We were both fawning over it and I glanced at the price tag. Whoops! She said, "should I set this one aside?" I said, "Sure, if you can make it about $3,000 cheaper." She did not find that funny. She got really quiet and said, "exactly what IS your price range?" "Well, I really don't want to spend any more than $1,000." (LIE! I really don't want to spend more than $600) From that point on she wouldn't even LET me try on any dresses that were more than $1,200.

So, did I commit some big faux pas? Was I supposed to be checking tags before I tried things on? There was no way I was going to spend any money today, so I didn't think it would matter. I didn't intend to waste her time. Are there really people who go into a store for the first time, try one three dresses and buy one that day? I thought that was half the fun, you have an excuse to try on ridiculously overpriced things.

I don't understand why people who are ignorant, racist and offensive can say whatever they please and yet I have to be polite and keep my mouth shut.

I have an uncle who has lived in Texas my whole life, but by some random act of chance we are both living in the greater Cincinnati area at this time. It's no surprise that my political ideology is, in general, vastly different than somebody who has spent much of their adult life in Texas. Steve does seem fairly laid back, so he's not horrible (like another uncle who married my mom's sister and is just awful and always picks fights with me). Even though Steve and I have both been in Cincinnati, we haven't gotten together yet. When I speak to him on the phone he says random and slightly offensive things like, "People in Kentucky fly the rebel flag to keep the rif raff from Cincinnati out." (By rif raff I assume he means black people...how is somebody supposed to respond to that?)

Today we got together for the first time to meet my sister at the airport and help her make a connecting flight. I know, completely random. (Laura was flying from Detroit to New Jersey by herself and had a connection in Cincinnati.) I spent more time alone with Steve than I ever have in my whole life. He is a very loving uncle, probably moreso than any other aunt or uncle I have. He is the only of my mom's siblings who has ever called me to chat. So I'm in a sticky situation. How do you react to somebody who is so blatantly racist? I mean, he said to me today, "I'm not prejudice, but..." (You know that when somebody says that they are about to say something really racist) "I only want to live in a white city." How is that not prejudice? That is the definition of racist. I don't want to live around black people, but I don't have a problem with them. How is that NOT racist?!?! Don't even get me started on the ignorant things he said about the Middle East.

Another Uncle once accused me of living in an ivory tower. Maybe I do. But what am I supposed to do when somebody is spreading blatant lies and hatred? What do you do when you hear somebody say to you, "I think those Iraqis got what they deserved after what they did to us on September 11th." I replied, "What did Iraqis do on September 11th?" "They destroyed the world trade center" "They were Saudi Arabian. Not a single one war Iraqi. The government even admits that." "Well they are all the same, all those people in the Middle East."

Good lord. I know I need to learn to pick my battles, but why can he said blatantly rude, offensive, prejudiced, ignorant things and I am the one who has to keep my mouth shut. It is so damn indicative of the United States when the unintelligent idiots are making all the noise and the intelligent people keep their mouths shut in order to be polite. THAT is why there is so much damn mis-information out there.

I'm so mad right now.

I'm also mad because I just learned my 18 year old sister stole my mom's diamond tennis bracelet and my father's grandfather's antique watch and pawned them. My mother found the receipt while snooping in her room. When she confronted Nicole about it, Nicole denied it. DENIED it! She was caught red-handed and STILL lied about it.

The worst part is that the bracelet was worth over $1000 and my dad's watch is priceless. The pawn shop gave her $65 for the bracelet and $75 for the watch. What a flipping crook. (Nicole and the pawn shop guy) My mom is going to be able to get the stuff back, but she has to buy it back.

My dad kicked Nicole out of the house. He wanted to call the police as well but my mom stopped him. After a few days Nicole called and was told that she could come back as long as she got a drug test and went to counseling. I certainly hope Nicole takes my mom up on the offer. If she were my daughter I would never let her come back because I couldn't ever trust her again. I suppose I am like my dad in that way. I feel really awful for Mark and Laura who are trapped in this situation.

Nicole denies that she uses drugs. I certainly hope that she is addicted to drugs. If she isn't addicted to drugs and yet stole my parents jewelry then there is no way to excuse behavior that selfish. I couldn't even sleep this weekend. I have no appetite and I feel sick and nauseated when I think about her.

So I stumbled upon this website today. You should click on the link and make sure your speakers are on because it is really only funny if you can hear the song.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/kittycatdance.html

Soooo, the word on the street is that Cheney's buddy just had a heart attack as a result of the hunting accident. Yeah, yeah, I feel sorry for the guy, but he's rich and old so he was going to kick the bucket soon anyway. Not that he has died or anything, but you never know what can happen. It really is quite interesting, though, that this guy is one of the people in charge of the entire military...and he can't even handle a hunting rifle safely. I'm happy to read about all the pro-gun people calling him out and saying that he needs to take responsibility for his own actions rather than blaming the victim. Seriously, what does it say about your character if you accidentally shoot a guy then say, "Oh, uh, you didn't signal that you were behind me." Granted, I don't hunt and I've never even touched a real gun, so I'm no expert. It just seems fishy to me. I bet that he was sloshed.

Happy Valentines Day to all my dear readers, especially my dearest Todd. He has started a blog and wanted to let you all know about it. http://www.wellrespectedblog.blogspot.com

Guns don't kill people....Vice Presidents on quail hunting trips kill people.

Okay, actually, they don't kill people, they just shoot them in the face.

This is probably the greatest news story ever. In case you didn't hear and you just crawled out from under your rock to read my blog, Dick Cheney was quail hunting (seriously, who hunts quail?) and he shot his friend in the face. At first I thought that Dick Cheney was shot in the face, but this is sooo much better. If Dick was shot, then he might gain some sympathy and support. Since he was the one doing the shooting, he might just have to admit that guns are dangerous and accidents can happen to anybody. Therefore, maybe, just maybe, those gun control proponents were on to something. You can respect guns and be careful with guns until you are blue in the face, but the bottom line is that they are dangerous. I hope he gets sued or something. Could that be considered criminal negligence or something?

I don't really feel bad for the guy who was shot. He's rich, he can buy a new face. Try e-bay.

In other news, I had a hankering to go wedding dress shopping today. This is the first time in my life that I have wanted to go dress shopping. I went to *shudder* David's Bridal that has been on my shit list since those awful sale commercials where this vapid blonde bride says "I just loooove my dress, it is sooooo pretty."

I tried on five dresses and...surprise, surprise...I definitely DON'T want a princessy poofy monstrosity. Those babies are heavy! I did try on one that I liked a lot, and I was tempted to just buy it and be done with it, but, alas, I am dressless. I'm going back to Michigan the first weekend in April to go and look at venues. I seem to think that once we just get the location everything else will fall into place. The idea of planning a wedding was fun for the first two weeks, but now it just seems like a pain in my ass. Remind me why I can't just elope?

Todd and I finally bought a bed, and it looks like this. It is completely cool, and really reasonably priced. I'm almost happy that we waited six months to buy it.



While we were at it, we decided to get a duvet cover as well. This is a close-up of the pattern.

Of course, why not throw in a coffee table while we are at it. (I don't have a picture of it in our apartment. This is from the website.)

In case you are wondering, we bought it all at West Elm. West Elm is an awesome store that I love and just opened up in Cincinnati. www.westelm.com

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Here are my results:

Your Existing Situation
Having difficulty in making progress. Despite the attempt to conceal impulsiveness, her activities lead to problems and uncertainties, making her tense and irritable.

Your Stress Sources
Wants freedom to follow her own convictions and principles, to achieve respect as an individual in her own right. Desires to avail herself of every possible opportunity without having to submit to limitations or restrictions.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.

Your Desired Objective
Needs to feel identified with someone or something and wishes to win support by her charm and amiability. Sentimental and yearns for a romantic tenderness.

Your Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

Your Actual Problem #2
Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

Kind of creepy how accurate it is by just picking a few colors.

I wish that I was in Torino. I love watching the Olympics, but watching them also makes me feel all sad that I can't be there to feel the buzz and excitement. I wonder if I would be able to convince Todd to go to the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. We are already tentatively planning to go to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, but I don't think I can wait that long. (In case you are wondering, I am kind of a walking encyclopedia of Olympic locations. Go ahead, test me.)

I turned on the TV this morning and filled with anger as I saw Matt Lauer and Katie Couric on TV from Torino, Italy. Matt Lauer was interviewing the members of the U.S. Olympic Committee and he referenced a statistic that says that after a country hosts the Olympics, that country's number of medals tends to decrease by 20% at the next Olympic games. Since the U.S. hosted the last Olympics, that would mean our number of medals would probably be fewer than in 2002. Lauer asked the U.S. Olympic committee if they would be upset if our number decreased that dramatically. Big freaking deal, Matt Lauer! Let the Fins and the Swedes have their damn medals! Does the U.S. have to dominate everything?!? Matt Lauer then said that when it comes to Olympics, the rest of the world is rooting against us because we have so much money and it gives our athletes an unfair advantage. That is bull-shit. The rest of the world roots against us because we are arrogant and ignorant and cocky mofos. Believe me, it has nothing to do with money. Should the world root against Norway because they have so much snow? Should we root against Switzerland because they have so many mountains? Should we root against Canada because they have miles and miles of frozen maple syrup ponds to play hockey upon?

Did you know....There is a federal Senator Crapo. Bwahahaha! He's from Idaho.

At the risk of being painfully uncool for saying this, I just have to admit that this season of survivor is going to be awesome! When it first started, I, like most of the country was totally gung ho about Survivor. I stayed on board even once it stopped being cool to like Survivor. However, the way my life has worked out (ASMSU, I'm looking in YOUR direction) my Thursday nights were always consumed by other activities and I fell off the Survivor bandwagon.

But now I'm back on board in full force! FOUR tribes...FOUR! What a mind-boggling concept that must have thrown people for a loop! Old vs. Young vs. Men Vs. Women! I love it! Exile Island...what a twist!

I am going to be sitting here eagerly anticipating next Thursday night.

Hurray for digital camera and all the fun that you can have with them!

A few things of importance:
1) I got business cards. They are purple and fantastic!
2) I played the State of the Union Bingo. In the first minute we already crossed 4 words off. It only took 12 minutes to win (Todd won). However, we watched the whole speech and Bush only didn't say THREE things on the bingo card. That, my friends, is amazing.
3) I finished knitting one sock for Dana. I am making good progress on its pair.
4) Luna Bars are not as good as they sound.
5) Kentucky Kroger is not as scary as it once seemed.